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看笑話學英文
把English 讀為"應給利息"的同學當了執行長; 讀為"陰溝裡洗"的成了小菜販子; 讀為"因果聯繫"的成了哲學家; 讀為"硬改歷史"的成了政治家; 讀為"英國裡去"的成了海外華僑; 而我 不小心讀成了"應該累死" 結果成了公司職員......... |
有天老師請小明用 "Green" , "Pink" , "Yellow" 三種顏色造句, 小明想了老半天,終於開口說話了: "Green...Green...Green"..., I "pink" the phone and say "Yellow". (正確應為 "Ring….Ring…Ring…, I pick the phone and say hello". ) |
有天老師請小明用英文描述車禍,小明想了又想, 就說 "One car come, two cars bump, three cars O-E-O-E." 補充字彙:車禍car accident 、救護車ambulance |
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. |
SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . .having friends. At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 35 success is . . . having money. At age 50 success is . . .having money. At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants. |
The Importance of the Second Language ~ 第二外語有多重要 A cat chased a mouse into a hole and sat outside meowing. After a while, the mouse heard a dog barking and thought “Great! Now the dog is here. The cat must be gone.” So, the mouse came out checking the dog. As soon as he came out, he was caught by the cat again. He begged the cat ”Before you eat me, would you tell me one thing? Where is the dog barking here just now?” The cat answered in laugh “Don’t you know nowadays it’s very important to learn a second language?” 有一隻貓追著一隻老鼠,老鼠躲到洞內,小貓只好坐在洞外喵喵叫,等待老鼠出來。 過了一陣子,躲在洞內的老鼠聽到狗叫聲,心想狗來了,貓一定跑掉了,於是探出頭來看看,沒想到還是立刻被貓一把捉住。 老鼠向貓求情說:「在你吃掉我之前,我可以知道剛才那隻在叫的狗在哪?」 貓笑著說:「你難道不知道會說第二外語的重要嗎?」。 |
道高一丈 教授在教室黑板上寫著: 「I will meet the class at 5:00. 」 (我會在五點來上課) 幾個剛到教室的學生看到留言,就開玩笑地把class的「c」擦掉,變成~ 「I will meet the lass at 5:00. 」(我會在五點會見情婦) 當教授回來看到黑板上的留言被修改後, 他拿起板擦,又把lass的「l」擦掉,變成~ 「I will meet the ass at 5:00. 」(我會在五點會見驢子) 然後對著學生說:「驢子們,上課了!」 |
Interesting Comparisons 有趣的對比 Smart man + Smart woman = Romance Smart man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy Dumb man + Smart woman = Affair Dumb man + Dumb woman = Marriage Smart boss + Smart employee = Profit A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A successful man is one who makes more money Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Q: "What promises do a man and a woman make when |